The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn
by FanFictionFantasy
Summary: A cross between Final Fantasy X and Moulin Rouge. My most randon story ever! Please R and R!
1. Nature Boy

This is likely my most random story ever! I kept imagining Final Fantasy X characters performing to Moulin Rouge songs and finally decided to put it into writing. Please Read and Review!

**Disclaimer: I do not own and Final Fantasy 10 characters or things, nor do I own Moulin Rouge (duh) and this applies throughout the whole story.**

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"_There was a boy, A very strange enchanted boy. They say he wandered very far, Very far. Overland and sea. A little shy. . .And sad of eye. . but very wise was he. . . and then one day. . . one magic day, he passed my was. . . while we spoke of many things. . . fools and kings. . . this he said to me. . . 'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.'"_

_**The Moulin Rouge. A nightclub, a dance hall and a bordello. Ruled over by Cid. A kingdom of nighttime pleasures where the rich and the powerful came to play with the young and beautiful creatures of the Farplane. The most beautiful of all these was the woman I loved. Yuna. A courtesan, she sold her love to men. They called her "the sparkling diamond", and she was the star of the Moulin Rouge. . .The woman I loved is. . . dead. **_

**_I first came to Spira one year ago. It was 1899, the summer of love. I knew nothing of the Moulin Rouge, Cid or Yuna._**

Tidus gets off a boat and looked around. The docks were crowded.

**_Spira had been swept up in the bohemian revolution, and I had traveled from Zanarkand to be a part of it. _**

Tidus was walking through the crowded streets until he finally reached the gates of Luca.

**_On a hill near Mihen was the village of Luca. It was not, as my father had said..._**

"_A village of drunks and chicks!" Jecht's voice rang in Tidus's head._

_**...but the center of the bohemian world. . .**_

Tidus entered Luca and forced his way through the crowds.

_**. . . with musicians, painters and writers. They were known as the children of the revolution. **_

_**Yes, I had come to live a gil-less existence. **_

Tidus stood in his apartment, looking out the window at the Moulin Rouge. The landlord handed him a key.

**_I had come to write about truth, beauty, freedom. . ._**

Tidus set up a typewriter and put some paper into it.

_**. . .and that which I believed in above all things, love. **_

"_You and your stupid obsession with love!" Jecht's voice shouted in Tidus's head again._

_**There was only one problem. . .I'd never been in love! Luckily, right at that moment, an unconscious Ronso fell through my roof.**_

Tidus jumped as a large, blue Ronso came crashing through the ceiling.

**_He was quickly joined by a midget dressed as a Maester. _**

"How do you do? My name is Tobli, yes Tobli, the one and only!" Said the midget very quickly.

"What?" Tidus asked

"I'm so unbearably sorry about all this, we're just upstairs rehearsing a play." Said Tobli.

"A what?" Tidus asked.

**_A play, something very modern called "Spectacular Spectacular". _**

"And it's set in Gagazet!" Tobli exclaimed excitedly.

**_Unfortunately, the unconscious Ronso suffered from a sickness called Narcolepsy._**

"Perfectly fine one moment, then without warningly unconscious the next!" Tobli said happily. Suddenly, four people appeared in the hole in the ceiling. Brother, Shinra, Buddy and LeBlanc. "How is he?" Shinra asked.

"Perfect. Now the narcoleptic Ronso is now unconscious, which means the scenario won't be finished in time to present at the financier tomorrow." Said LeBlanc angrily.

"She's right, Tobli. I still have to finish the music." Said Shinra.

"We just need to find some one to read the part!" Tobli said.

"And where in Spira are we supposed to find a young, sensitive Ronso poet fiendherder?" LeBlanc demanded.

**_Before I knew it, I was upstairs standing in for the unconscious Ronso._**

"_The hills animate with the euphonious symphonies of_ _descant_!" Sang Tobli.

"STOP, STOP, STOP!" LeBlanc shouted.

The loud music stopped and all the men looked at her.

"That deafening racket is ruining my script! Can't we just go with a little decorative piano?" She asked.

**_There seemed to be artistic differences over LeBlanc's lyrics to Shinra's song._**

"I don't sink a Maester vould be singing about a hill." Said Brother.

"What if he sings 'the hills are vital, intoning the descant'?" Shinra asked.

"No, no, no, no. The hills quake and shake. . ."

"The hills. . ."

It was impossible to hear the ideas with all three men singing them at once. Suddenly, the Ronso jumped up.

"The hills incarnate with symphonic melodies!" He roared.

Everyone was silent for a moment, then the Ronso fell unconscious again and the men went back to arguing. Then Tidus got an idea.

"Hey, guys!" He shouted.

They didn't hear him. "Guys! GUYS!" He persisted, though still they didn't hear him.

Then, "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE, WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!" He sang out.

All the others stopped arguing and looked at him. "Ze hills. . ."

". . .are alive. . ."

Shinra ran over and played it with the piano ". . .with the sound of music. . .it fits perfectly!" He said, turning to Tidus.

"With songs they have sung for a thousand years!" He continued.

The others gasped. "Incandiferous! LeBlanc, you two should write the play together!" Tobli squealed.

"_What_ did you say?" LeBlanc asked furiously.

**_But Tobli's suggestion that LeBlanc and I write the play together was not what LeBlanc wanted to hear. _**

"GOOD-BYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE!" LeBlanc shouted, slamming the door behind her.

None of them cared. "Here's to your first job in Spira!" Tobli told Tidus excitedly, raising a glass of absinthe to him.

Tidus was a little confused. "But Tobli, Cid will never agree. No offence, Tidus, but have you ever written anything like this before?" Shinra asked.

Tidus shook his head. "Boy have talent! Kimahri likes!" The Ronso shouted, putting his hand on Tidus's crotch, then taking it off quickly "Uh, Kimahri just like talent." He added quickly.

"The hills are alive with the sound of music, see Shinra, with Tidus we can write the truly bohemian revolutionary show that we've always dreamt of!" Tobli muttered.

"But how will we convince Cid?" Shinra asked.

**_But Tobli had a plan._**

"Yuna." He said before launching into whispers with Brother and Shinra.

**_They would dress me in Brother's best suit, and pass me off as a famous Al Bhed writer. Once Yuna heard my modern poetry, she would insist to her uncle, Cid, that I write "Spectacular Spectacular". The only problem was, I kept hearing my father's voice in my head!_**

"_You'll end up wasting your life at the Moulin Rouge, just like your old man!" Jecht chuckled._

"No, I can't write the show for the Moulin Rouge!" Tidus said suddenly, bolting to the exit.

The others followed him. "But why not?" Tobli asked.

"I-I don't know if I'm even a true bohemian revolutionary." He said.

"WHAT?" They all shouted.

"Do you believe in beauty?" Tobli asked.

"Yes." Said Tidus.

"Freedom?" Kimahri asked.

"Yes, of course."

"Truth?" Shinra asked.

"Yes." Said Tidus.

"Love?" Brother asked.

"Love? Love. Above all things I believe in love. Love is like oxygen. Love is a many-splendoured thing, love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!" Said Tidus excitedly.

"See, you can't fool us! You're the voice of the children of the revolution!" Tobli cried happily!

"We can't be fooled!" The others said loudly!

"Let's drink to the new writer of the world's first bohemian revolutionary show!" Tobli said.

**_It was the perfect plan. I was to audition for Yuna, and I would taste my first glass of absinthe. . ._**

_There was a boy. . ._

Suddenly, the green fairy on the bottle came to life. "I'm the green fairy!" She said, flying into the sky.

"The hills are alive with the sound of music!" The men sang, raising their glasses, laughing histerically.

_A very strange enchanted boy. . ._

"Yeah, freedom, beauty, truth and LO-O-OVE!" The men sang as the green fairy wrote the words in the sky.

"The hills are alive. . ." She sang.

"You won't fool the children of the revolution, no you won't fool the children. . ."

". . .with the sound of music! Of the revolution, the revolution, the revolution. . ." The green fairy sang.

Suddenly, her eyes turned red and the Moulin Rouge turned into a vortex that sucked the four men in.

**_We were off to the Moulin Rouge, and I was to perform my poetry for Yuna..._**

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I know this chapter was a bit dull, as most opening chapters are when I write them, but stay tuned! It gets better! 

Until the next update...


	2. At The Moulin Rouge

Here's chapter 2 everyone. This one is longer and better than the first, I promise! Please read and review!**_

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**_Cid, and his infamous girls. They called them his "Diamond Fiends."_**

The Diamond Fiends appeared from behind a false wall. Cid, dressed in a red suit walked over to join them.

"Lusa yht mea tufh fedr sa." The Diamond Fiends chorused in Al Bhed.

"Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista, hey sista. . ." The began singing as Cid appeared in front of them.

"If life's an awful bore. . ." He sang.

". . .soul sista, flow sista. . ."

". . .And living's just a chore. That we do. . ."

". . . hey sista, go sista. . ."

". . .'Cause death's not much fun. . ." Cid sang.

". . . soul sista. . ."

"Giuchie giuchie, ya ya." The Diamond Fiends sang.

". . .I've just the antidote. . .and though I musn't gloat at the Moulin Rouge! You'll have fun!" Cid sang.

Tidus looked amazed at the crowd. Woman were coming up and grabbing his butt. Tobli grabbed a girl and pulled her onto his lap.

". . .just scratch that little niggle, have a little wiggle. . ."

". . .Creole Lady Marmalade. . ."

"You know that you can, 'cause you can-can-can!"

"Lusa yht mea tufh fedr sa." The Diamond Fiend's continued singing.

". . .Don't say you can't-can't-can't!"

"Lusa yht mea tufh fedr sa."

"Here we are now, entertain us!" The crowd shouted.

Cid, followed by his Diamond Fiends, walked through the doors and into the courtyard.

"Got some dark desire? Like to play with fire? Why not let it rip? Live a little bit!" Can can-can!" He sang.

"Here we are now, entertain us!"

"Don't say you can't, can't, can't!"

"Lusa yht mea tufh fedr sa."

"'Cause we can-can-can!" The crowd sang.

"Outside it may be raining," said Cid, holding up a black umbrella ", BUT IN HERE IT'S ENTERTAINING!"

"If you love, love, love to be free, free, free. . ."

Cid did a series of back-flips. "Then the Moulin Rouge is the place to be-e-e-e!" He cried.

"'Cause we can-can-can!" He shouted.

"We can!" The crowd cried out.

"Yes we can-can-can!"

"We can!"

"Here we are now, entertain us!"

"Outside things may be tragic, but in here we feel it's magic!" Cid sang as the Diamond Fiends danced around him.

Suddenly, he jumped up to his podium on the stage and waved his arms for silence. He then bent down over the podium and said quietly "The can-can."

He spun the words on the front of the podium and it stopped at Can-can. The crowd began singing again

"Because we can-can-can! Yes we can-can-can!"

"Creole Lady Marmalade!"

Then, Tidus suddenly became excited about being at the Moulin Rouge.

"'Cause it's good for you mind!" He shouted out, as he joined the dancing crowd.

"We all can!" Cid cried.

"Tidus!" Tobli shouted, gesturing him over to a table.

"Lusa yht mea tufh fedr sa."

"Mission accomplished. We've successfully evaded Cid." He muttered.

The song ended and the words "Can-Can" echoed quietly. Then the lights went dim and a girl in sparkling silver came down from the ceiling.

"It's her. . .the Sparkling Diamond." Tobli whispered.

Tidus gaped at her. "The Al Bhed. . .are glad to-o-o die for love. . ." Yuna sang.

". . .they delight in fi-i-ighting duels."

**_But someone else was to meet Yuna that night. . ._**

"But I prefer a man who lives. . ."

**_Cid's investor. . ._**

"And gives expensive. . .jewels!"

**_Seymour Guado, the Duke._**

Seymour was watching intently as the music picked up and Yuna swung around the crowd. She then jumped into the crowd.

"A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but diamonds are a girl's best friend. . ." She sang "A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental on your humble flat. Or help you feed your pussycat."

Everyone was cheering. Tidus seemed to be entranced, as was Seymour who was sitting at a nearby table. "Men grow cold as gals grow old, but we all lose our charms in the end! But square cut or pear-shape , these rocks don't lose their shape. Diamonds are a girl's best friend!"

Cid went and joined Seymour at his table. "When do I get to meet her?" He asked.

"Tiffany's!" Yuna shouted.

"After her number, I've arranged a special meeting-just you and High Summoner Yuna, totally alone." Said Cid quietly.

"Cartier!" Yuna went on.

Over at Tidus's table, Tobli was explaining the next stage of the plan. "After her, I've arranged a private meeting, just you and High Summoner Yuna, totally alone!" He squealed.

"Alone?" Tidus asked.

"Yes," Tobli and Cid were saying at the same time ", totally alone."

"'Cause we are living in a material world and I am a material girl! Come and get me boys!" Yuna called.

"Excuse me." Cid said, jumping up from the table and hurrying to the stage.

"Black star, Roscor! Talk to me Uncle Cid, tell me all about it!" Yuna sang.

"Haha!" Cid laughed as he joined her on stage.

"There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer," sang Yuna, touching her uncle's chest "but diamonds are a girls best friend!" They sang together.

"There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer thinks you're. . ."

". . .awful nice!" Cid finished.

"But get that ice or else no dice!"

Tidus got up to go meet Yuna but Tobli forced him back into his seat. "Don't worry, don't worry, I'll sally forth and tee things up!" He said excitedly, bumping Seymour's table and knocking his glass over.

"Is the duke here, Cid?" Yuna asked as the Diamond Fiends began singing.

"Sweetheart, would Ciddy let you down?" Cid asked her.

"I'm terribly sorry." Tobli said to Seymour, dabbing him with a hankie, trying to dry the spill.

"Where is he?" Yuna asked as she and her uncle circled each other.

"He's the one Tobli is shaking a hankie at." Said Cid.

Yuna looked around. At that moment, Tobli grabbed a hankie from Tidus and said "Excuse me, Tidus, can I borrow this?" As he shook it out.

Yuna made eye contact with Tidus. "Are you sure?" She asked Cid.

"Let me peek," he said, peering around his niece.

Tobli was back at Seymour's table, dabbing him madly with the hankie. "Let me finish, I'm ever so sorry. It's so embarrassing." He was saying.

", that's the one chickpea. I hope that demonic little loon doesn't frighten him off." Cid said as he and Yuna were pulled behind a curtain for Yuna to change.

"Clean yourself off you tispycc pig!" Tobli snapped at Seymour, throwing the hankie at him.

At that moment, a Guado guard came over and flashed a gun at Tobli.

"Sorry, sorry." He said, hurrying off.

"Will he invest?" Yuna asked Cid behind the curtains.

"Betkauh! After spending the night with you how could he refuse?" Cid asked.

"What's his type? Wilting flower?" Yuna asked.

Cid shook his head.

"Bright and bubbly?" She asked.

Cid shook his head again.

"How about smouldering temptress?" She asked.

"I'd say smouldering temptress. We're all relying on you, kucmehk. Remember, a real show, in a real theater, and you'll be. . ."

"A real actress. . ." Said Yuna dazedly.

Suddenly she smiled and jumped up again. Tobli was trying to get her attention from the crowd.

"'Cause that't when those louses. . ."

"Bejewelled vision!" He called.

". . .go back to their spouses. . ."

"Amazonian goddess!" Tobli called again.

Two performers carry Yuna on their shoulders to Tidus's table. "Diamonds are a. . ." She sang.

"I've got some exciting news!" Tobli called.

". . .girl's. . .best. . .friend!" She finished.

Tidus looked up at her, awestruck. "I believe you were expecting me." She said.

"Yes. . ." Tidus gasped.

Yuna turned back to the crowd. "I'm afraid it's lady's choice!" She said to them.

Brother, Shinra and Kimahri clapped Tidus on the back as Yuna worked the crowd.

"YUNA! YUNA! YUNA!" They cheered.

"I see you've already met my Al Bhed friend!" Tobli shouted at her.

"I'll take care of it, Tobli." She said before turning to Tidus and holding out her hand "Let's dance!"

"Hit her with your most modern poem!" Tobli cried to Tidus as the music started up again.

_Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night, dance until the morning light. Forget about the worries on your mind, you can leave them al behind. Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night, dance until the morning light. Forget about the worries on your mind, you can leave them al behind._

Tidus and Yuna danced among the others couples on the dance floor. "That's went well." Shinra said.

"Incredible." Said Kimahri.

"I told you, he's a genius!" Tobli exclaimed.

Cid was watching from the back, unable to see Tidus's face. "That Duke certainly can dance." He said.

"So kind of you to take an interest in our little show." Said Yuna as she and Tidus danced.

"It sounds very exciting, I'd be delighted to be involved." He replied.

"Really?" Yuna asked hopefully.

"Assuming you like what I do, of course." Tidus said.

Yuna smiled. "I'm sure I will."

Tidus tipped his hat to the bohemians. "Tobli told me we could, uh, do it in private." Said Tidus.

"Did he?" Yuna asked.

"Yes. You know, a private poetry reading." Said Tidus.

"Ohhh. Mmm, a poetry reading. Yes, I love a little poetry after supper." She said excitedly.

The song was coming to an end. ". . .entertain us! Here we are now, entertain us! We feel stupid. . ."

"HANG ONTO YOUR HATS!" Yuna cried as the song came to an end and everyone threw their hats into the air.

Yuna got back on her trapeze and Tidus returned to his seat. The lights were dim again.

"DIAMONDS! DIAMONDS!" She shouted.

The crowd formed a circle around her on the ground and began swaying back and forth.

"Square cut or pear-shaped, these rocks don't lose their shape. . ."

Tidus couldn't take his eyes off Yuna, he felt sick.

"Diamonds are a girl's. . .best. . ." But the last word never came.

Yuna suddenly ran gasped for breath. Cid suddenly looked concerned. The crowd threw they're arms up for the finale but suddenly-

"NO!" Cid shouted as Yuna fell from the trapeze.

She was miraculously caught by a dancer. The crowd looked confused. Sweat dripping down his face, Cid gestured for the man to take Yuna backstage. He then began clapping and cheering.

"Yuna, Yuna, Yuna. . ." He began chanting.

The crowd caught on. Meanwhile, the dancer carried Yuna to a bed backstage and lay her down on it.

"I don't know if that Duke's gonna get his money's worth tonight." Said one of the girls.

"Don't be unkind, Dona." Said another.

On the dance floor, the stage manager came into the crowd and signaled to Cid that Yuna wasn't coming back. He waved his arms for silence.

"You frightened her away! But I can see some lonely Moulin Rouge dancers out there who're looking for a partner or two! So if you can hunk-hunk, you can hunkadola with them!" He shouted as the music began to play again.

Backstage, Lulu came rushing in. "Out of the way." She hissed, moving over to Yuna.

She did a remedy on Yuna, who woke up immediately. "Oh. . .Lulu. . .oh, these silly costumes." She panted.

Lulu smiled. "Just a little fainting spell." She said.

"Ymm nekrd oui kenmc, pylg uid vnuhd yht syga druca kahdc drencdo!" The stage manager said, coming into the room "Problems?" He asked, looking at Lulu and Yuna.

"Nothing for you to be worried about." Said Lulu coldly.

"Don't just stand around then." He said, leaving.

Suddenly, Yuna started coughing. Lulu held a white cloth up to Yuna's lips as she coughed. The coughing went on for a few moments. Then she passed out again. Lulu went to put the cloth away when she noticed something. There were specks of blood on it. She eyed it for a moment, then pocketed it again.


End file.
